Ethical Living and Self Love

For me, ethical living means doing the least harm possible in this universe and it's beings. It means doing whatever is in our reach to respect everyone and to make this world a better, kinder place.

Right now, I'm struggling just a little bit with self love. It's not too serious - I don't hate myself, nor do I practice self harm, so the only advice I have for those who are in this situation is to please, do not be embarrassed to seek professional help. 

But if, like me, you sometimes tend to be too harsh on yourself and saying hurtful things you wouldn't say to anyone else, hopefully this introspection will be relatable and I can inspire you to start a self love journey with me.

So, what does ethical living have to do with self love? Well, a lot, in my opinion. You see, I feel like self love should be the first step to ethical living - although many of us tend to skip that step. It's not that you can't be a conscious person if you aren't 100% happy with yourself - you can. What I mean is that your health and well being should always be the first priority. If you have to take a medicine that isn't vegan and is wrapped in plastic, the right thing to do is take that medicine. Ethical living is about making the best choices you can, for the world and for yourself. 

I find myself sometimes thinking and even saying things to myself that I would never ever think about someone else - and if I heard someone say those things to another person, I would call them out. It would be extremely unethical. So, if it is wrong to do something to someone else, why do I think it's okay to do the same thing to myself? Why shouldn't I be as tolerant and compassionate towards myself as I am to other humans and non humans?

I have been thinking a lot about this, and I want to change. I don't want to condemn myself for mistakes that I would immediately forgive someone else for. I'm so good at laughing at myself, and turning my bad and awkward memories into funny stories when I'm with other people. I want to also be able to laugh at these memories when I'm alone, instead of using them to insult myself.

So I'm going for it: my self love journey starts right here, right now. I have my ups and downs, and I know that won't change, and I still may be mad at myself once in a while, but I want to have a healthy, loving relationship with myself. I deserve the same respect I give to everyone else. 

It will be hard though - I've grown used to changing my actions to become a better person, but this change is all inside my mind, which is harder to control.

 However, sometimes actions can change mindsets, and so there's things I can do to help me learn to love and respect myself. Here's a few ideas I had that I'll try incorporating into my life:

• Write

I've always loved writing, and it has helped me heal in the past. I used to write a lot, and when I got into college, I stopped having time to do it. Writing both stories and thoughts is a wonderful way to relax and take care of myself, and I should definitely do it more often. Besides, sometimes writing something makes it feel "official". I've noticed that when I write what I love about myself, or why I forgive myself, it really does make a difference than if I just told myself those things - but that's just my experience. Maybe I' can start a self love journal.

• Exercise

 I'm not really into exercising, but I have to admit, it does feel good afterwards. A few weeks ago I got really into yoga, but when both the exams and the cold arrived, it got harder and I stopped. I should go back to exercising when I can, while still not blaming myself or feeling bad when I don't. While it would be really cool to be able to establish a routine, a little is better than nothing, and exercising once in a month is still better than not exercising at all. 

• Dress up sometimes

I'm a very lazy person when it comes to my physical appearance, and that's cool - I love being confident enough to be able to go to college with no make up on and wearing the same t-shirt I've been wearing the whole week, with my hair looking like a broomstick. But while I don't want to focus on my looks, I feel like once in a while I want to dress up, learn to work with my hair, put some make up on, and I don't do it because it's just a regular day. But hey, why shouldn't I feel special on a regular day?

•  Look more in the mirror and take more photos

So, I used to spend a lot of time looking in the mirror, and I used to take A LOT of crazy photos. Now I barely look in the mirror, and I can't even take a single selfie. The selfie part might have to do with my year without a smartphone in which everyone stopped using snapchat for some reason (Such a shame, I loved snapchat so much...), so now that I have a smartphone again, I'm not used to selfies anymore! But as for looking at myself in the mirror, I have no excuse. I have a huge mirror in my bathroom and yet I don't look at myself, even when I'm right in front of it. My face has become unfamiliar to me, now I feel weird when I see it. That must change. I created an Instagram account yesterday, hopefully it will motivate me to take photos of myself again.

• Take time for myself

Read a book, drink some tea, take a walk, stretch, listen to music or to a podcast... No matter how busy I am, I deserve time to relax. I would also add watch a show but since that's the only thing I've been doing for myself recently, it doesn't relax me anymore, rather I think it might be making me feel more stressed, so I'll try to make time for other things. If it makes you feel good though, definitely take time to watch your favorite show! 

• Care for my body

When expressing my love for other people I hug them, I kiss them, I pet them, I cuddle with them. Physical contact is a huge part of most relationships, and while it's not absolutely necessary, I do feel that it makes the emotional connection between people stronger. So I will try to also express my love for myself the same way. I don't need to be sore to massage my neck. Although it might be weird to talk about it, I would be lying if I said I didn't feel loved when hugging myself, or kissing my hands, arms or legs. 

These are the ideas I had to boost my self love - I'll probably come up with more, I probably forgot some that I had previously thought about. I don't know if I'll make more posts about this here (let me know if you'd like that!) or if I'll keep the rest of my journey private.

I can't stress enough that there's nothing wrong to seek professional help if you need to. I am not a professional, please do not take this post as advice, these are just things that I'll be trying to do in my life and see if they work for me. That being said, if you also have a mild struggle with self love I hope this inspires you to be more kind to yourself, since you deserve it.